英语话剧2人搞笑剧本

FORREST (voice-over) That Momma, she sure was right. It's funny how things work out. EXT. BAYOU LA BATRE/BUBBA'S MOM'S HOUSE - DAY Forrest walks up to a shack on the edge of the Bayou. A group of black kids play in the front yard. FORREST (voice-over) I didn't stay home for long, because I'd made a

http://blog.sina.com.cn/s/blog_5e9fa0040100dco1.html 是《喜羊羊与灰太狼》的。已经大获成功，视频：http://blog.sina.com.cn/s/blog_5e9fa0040100dgzd.html~type=v5_one&label=rela_nextarticle

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甲:不会 乙：哈哈

1： 啊~~~ 大忽悠！大忽悠！ 2： 喊啥大忽悠，今儿出来卖这完应，别叫我艺名行不行？ 1： 孩儿他爸， 2： 恩， 1： 要我说这个拐就别卖啦！ 2： 因为啥呀？ 1： 这满大街都是腿脚好的，谁买你那完应啊？ 2： 你废话，不卖了，做这副拐又搭工又搭料，一天一宿没睡觉，不做不赔了么？ 1： 哎呀，那这满大街都是腿脚好的，能卖出去吗！ 2： 你还不了解我吗，还管我叫大忽悠呢。我能把正的忽悠斜了，能把蔫的忽悠谑了，能把尖人忽悠嗫了，能把小两口过的挺好，我给他忽悠分别了。今天卖拐，一双好腿我能给他忽悠瘸了！ 1： 哈哈，你可拉倒吧， 2： 信不信？ 1： 我就不信人家好好的腿你就能给人忽悠瘸了？

两人搞笑的相声剧本，其实可以采用的是无厘头的方式，并结合现在的一些个网络上的段子和一些个网络上的语言这样一来更能够引起共鸣

相声：超级主持人 甲、乙（合）：大家好！（鞠躬） 甲：一个节日马上就到了，是什么日子？大家知道吗？ 乙：什么呀？ 甲：还能是什么日子？一月一日不是元旦，还能是方蛋吗？ 乙：你是说圆圆的蛋吗？蛋不都是圆的吗？ 甲：别乱说了，我说的是元旦节呀！ 乙：好，咱言归正传。听说中央电视台办了个联欢会，那主持人的水平可真不咋地儿！ 甲：可不是吗？联欢会刚开始，主持人就出来报幕了（一扭一扭地）：“迎新春庆元旦联欢晚会到此结束！” 乙：啊？不会吧？还没开始怎么就结束了？ 甲：这还不算什么呢，接下来还有更厉害的！ 乙：又怎么了？ 甲：下面的节目是《黄河大合唱》，为了弥补前面的错误，主持人特意加了一句台词（充满激情

小王子[ Chapter 3 ]- the narrator learns more about from where the little prince came。It took me a long time to learn where he came from。     The little prince who asked me so many questions never seemed to hear the ones I asked him。   It was from words dropped by chance that little by little。  everything was revealed to me。  The first time he saw my airplanefor instance (I shall not draw my airplane; that would be much too complicated for me)he asked me:[What is that object?][That is not an object。     It flies。 It is an airplane。 It is my airplane。And I was proud to have him learn that I could fly。  ]He cried out:[What! You dropped down from the sky?][Yes。  ]I answered modestly。[Oh! That is funny!]And the little prince broke into a lovely peal of laughter,which irritated me very much。   I like my misfortunes to be taken seriously。  Then he added:[So you,too,come from the sky! Which is your planet?]At that moment I caught a gleam of light in the impenetrable mystery of his presence; and demanded abruptly:[Do you come from another planet?]But he did not reply。     He tossed his head gently,without taking his eyes from my plane:[It is true that on that you can't have come from very far away。  。。  ]And he sank into a reverie which lasted a long time。 Then taking my sheep out of his pocket。  he buried himself in the contemplation of his treasure。  You can imagine how my curiosity was aroused by this half-confidence about the "other planets。  " I made a great effort therefore to find out more on this subject。  [My little man,where do you come from? What is this 'where I live' of which you speak? Where do you want to take your sheep?]After a reflective silence he answered:[The thing that is so good about the box you have given me is that at night he can use it as his house。    ][That is so。 And if you are good I will give you a string,too。so that you can tie him during the day and a post to tie him to。  ]But the little prince seemed shocked by this offer:[Tie him! What a queer idea!][But if you don't tie him],I said,[he will wander off somewhereand get lost。    ]My friend broke into another peal of laughter:[But where do you think he would go?][anywhere。   Straight ahead of him。]Then the little prince said earnestly:[That doesn't matter。   Where I live everything is so small!]And with perhaps a hint of sadness,he added:[Straight ahead of himnobody can go very far。  。。]。  。

元旦快乐 甲：你好，节日快乐！ 乙：恩？节日？什么节日？你生日呀？恭喜恭喜呀！红包拿来！甲：什么乱七八糟的呀！人家生日早过了！ 乙：噢，原来不是你的生日呀！那今天是什么日子呀？ 甲：不会吧，你连今天是什么日子都不知道呀？ 乙：我为什么要知道？今天很重要吗？甲：当然！是我们大家的节日呀。 乙：噢，我知道了，是国庆节！ 甲：啊，还没到十月一日呢？ 乙：那就是妇女节！让我们一起祝愿天下所有的妈妈们节日快乐 （唱：妈妈呀妈妈，亲爱的……） 甲：等等等等，又错了！ 乙：那是不是劳动节呀？ 甲：（大笑）5.1的7天长假是不上把你给睡傻了?(摸对方额头) 乙:去去去,你才傻了呢!不就是儿童节吗？ 甲:啊！你

甲：（一副知识渊博的样子）你——听说过广告吗？ 乙：（一愣）广告？我——时时听、天天听、月月听、年年听，并且——时时看、天天看、月月看、年年看，总之，自打我生下来就没有离开过那玩意儿。 甲：喜欢那玩意吗？ 乙：我都快烦死它了，还喜欢呢。 甲：咋了。 乙：人家电视剧演得好好的，它突然给你加进去一个广告，有时连个招呼都不打（学电视里的日本话）“共产党的干部；你的说不说，不说就死啦死啦的，（学广告里 女 嗲声嗲气地）我说，老公——雪里蕻化妆品——我要吗——嗯”。 甲：是这样的吗？ 乙：还有更可气的，就我刚才来这儿的路上，碰到个红灯，停车会儿的工夫就有一姑娘跑过来，从车窗的缝里一边塞进一

不差钱节选 嚎~

相 亲 开场：（在公园一张长椅） 女演员打把伞，慢慢走出，把头用伞挡住，然后缓缓把伞放下，露脸（形象要夸张、逗笑）对观众说台词： 本小姐名叫张大波（做样子）确实如此，身材有波又有多，纤纤小手长长的腿（做样子）今年才只有20多 只是出生不太好，奶奶是个地主婆，从小扎根在农村，一天到晚养猪婆，幸亏党的政策好，才有了现在的好生活，办了一个养猪场，成立了一个猪王国，钱也有了什么都有，我的心里还是不好过，早就过了发育期，为什么老天还不给我个情哥哥。唉……其实也有人给我介绍过男朋友，但是没一个中意的，没几天就拜拜。就拿上次那个木匠来说，我****要他做几样家具，原来屁都不懂，若有其事的做了几天，就做出个马

阿甘正传的片断 FORREST (voice-over) That Momma, she sure was right. It's funny how things work out. EXT. BAYOU LA BATRE/BUBBA'S MOM'S HOUSE - DAY Forrest walks up to a shack on the edge of the Bayou. A group of black kids play in the front yard. FORREST (voice-over) I didn't stay home for long, because I'd

我妈学英语的热情日益高涨,因而我的苦难就日益加深.因此每当老妈问我英文的时候,我都会先吃三片阿期匹林,缠好绷带,再运上龟背神功至第十二重. 下面是我和老妈的对话，A代老妈，B代我： A:“儿子啊,i`m very annoyance,don`t trouble me .是什么意思啊~?” B:“我很烦,别烦我” A:“找打,跟**这么说话”(于是被扁) A“i hear nothing,reapt. 是what意思啊” B:“我没听清,再说一次” A:“i hear nothing,reapt” B：“我没听清,再说一次” 结果被扁 A：再问:“what do you say “又怎么

无聊啊...是老师让写的吗？

可以用高中课本剧中的项链，以Mathilde和Jeanne 的对话来讲述项链的故事。我觉得不错哦。 可以参看这个视频啊http://www.tudou.com/programs/view/Z_8uOBifjos/ 英语话剧 《项链》 希望对你有帮助。

新梁山伯与祝英台

《孔雀东南飞》（英文搞笑话剧） 本文来自:恒星英语学习网(www.Hxen.com)详细出处参考： http://www.hxen.com/yingyujuben/2007-03-30/4960.htmlWanderseveryfivemiles 焦仲卿Johnny(Jforshort)刘兰芝Lunch(Lforshort) 焦母Johnny’smother(JMforshort)刘母Lunch’smother(LMforshort) 太守之子Mayor’sson(MSforshort)强盗Burglars(ABandC) Prologue (J作被打状跑上台,内砸出一卷纸筒,J被打中,狼狈不

《孔雀东南飞》（英文搞笑话剧） 本文来自: 恒星英语学习网( 详细出处参考： 焦仲卿Johnny(Jforshort)刘兰芝Lunch(Lforshort) 焦母Johnny’smother(JMforshort)刘母Lunch’smother(LMforshort) 太守之子Mayor’sson(MSforshort)强盗Burglars(ABandC) Prologue (J作被打状跑上台,内砸出一卷纸筒,J被打中,狼狈不堪) J:EverybodysaysthatI’mhenpecked,butinfact,I’masstrongasatiger,(小声)whilemy wifeisWu

甲:Hello,every one, have you ever seen the movie? Yeah, you are right, I'm the director-- Cameron Diaz, applaud , thank you....Recently, I will direct a new movie called < Avatar 2 >, today, there will be a audition and I will select three actresses who can get the chance to perform in this f

老友记 随便挑一部过来好了。。

《百万英镑》

编辑需要时间

“哦——!”怎么回事?为什么五(1)班教师这么热闹?原来，老师布置给了大家一个作业，让大家在周末拍一张照片，谁的最新奇，谁的就最好!同学们个个摩拳擦掌，兴奋不已。 星期六，小番茄同学拿着他的相机，在大街上走着。边走边想：老师说要新奇，那么我就拍一张……一张滑稽的照片吧!可是……哪里有机会拍呢……“嘿嘿，小猴，翻跟斗!翻跟斗!……”不远处的一个院子里，有许多人在看小猴的表演，这时，小番茄眼前一亮：“耍猴不是很滑稽吗?说不定还有一些意外的收获呢!”于是，他一蹦一跳地跑了过去，正巧这时大家被小猴逗得哈哈大笑，而小猴也兴致正高，走钢丝走完了，又翻起了跟斗，这会儿又在转手帕……小番茄也跟着大家一起鼓掌

荆柯：Fine, thank you, and your wife? 太子丹晕倒 荆柯：Hey, man, I’m kidding! 太子丹：Oh, I’m kidding too!（毕恭毕敬）May I have your name card, please? 荆轲从兜里掏出一卷纸，上面写着： To be or not to be, that's a question. 阿三：Hero，we need your help. 荆柯：I am busy now! 太子丹：You can get a lot of money. 荆柯：I am very busy now! 阿三：IC, ID, I

绝对是搞笑英语剧本: Narration: Carrie, Cici and Wing are co-worker of a company. This day they are talking in the office. Ca: Bingo!du I finally finish this case. It is really tough! I have not slept well for almost a week. Wing: Me too .I always get so busy in this season. I have drunk three cups of coffee

旁白:Long long ago, there were three little pigs living with their mother. They were very happy and they were very kind to their friends. Look! They are coming! (情景一:猪妈妈和三只小猪在森林里快乐的玩耍)(加快乐的音乐 ) M: babies, Come on! Pp:Here we come! M: Let’s do some exercises. Lift your arms. Bend your knees. Touch your

小明发现自己学的英语当中有许多都是根据它的颜色来说的.于是,小明回到老家，自以为是的向大家宣告自己学会的英语，有一位小朋友问他：“煤的英语怎么读啊？”小明知道自己没学过多少单词，于是，他答道：“读：黑秋吗空一大团”

搞笑5人剧本西门吹雪与叶孤城 演员表： 西门吹雪 叶孤城 花满楼 king 旁白 道具：牛奶两袋，匕首一把，戒子一枚，纸屑若干。 第一幕：决战紫荆城之颠 旁白：A quiet villageiscoveredwithwhitesnow . Birdsaredancinginthecold . Amaniswalkingalongthestreet ,stepbystep . Windiscominginsilence. Another mysteriousmanapproaches . Y与X相遇． X：oH ,Iamsorrytoknockyou !

穷开心：别人开心是真开心，我开心真是穷开心，不管三七二十一，开心茶馆寻开心，准开心，你说是不是！。 观众：是。 二、情景表演部份 穷开心手拿一张假百元钞票独白：你说人倒霉来，盐罐生咀，喝水塞牙，放屁伤人，走路扭脚，什么时候混进了一张假币幺冻冻（100）。 穷开心用手掌打了一下自己的脸骂：白睁着一双金鱼豹眼。 穷开心露出狡诈的笑容：道高一尺，魔高一丈，有法子了。 老开心上，老开心站在服务台上笑脸迎接穷开心，穷开心坐在茶桌上，跷起二郎腿。 老开心：小妹上茶。 穷开心：上最好的碧螺春，外加一盘开心果。 小开心端着茶水上：老板，开心茶馆，喝碧螺春，嚼开心果，开开心心，今天开心明天开心天天开心月月开心年

荆珂刺秦王搞笑英语话剧剧本 旁白(Aside )/介绍（Introduction）： Long ago there was a crazy country, in this crazy country there were some crazy people, trying to show the crazy history by crazy ways. Mr Jingke was the most famous swordsman and was sent to kill king of Qing, “Yingzheng”. But finally he failed. Do you wan

男：Can I buy you a drink?（我可以为你买一杯饮料吗？） 女：Actually I’d rather have the money.（不必，我我宁愿留下那些钱。) 男：Can I have your name?（直译：我能有你的名字吗？） 女：Why? Don’t you already have one? （为什么？你不是已经有一个了吗？） 男：I’m a photographer. I’ve been looking for a face like yours.（我是摄影师。我一直在寻找一张像你这样的脸。） 女：I’m a plastic surgeon. I’ve b

Aside: You can't see your hand in front of you in one at night, pitch-dark forest have one one black little girl running alarmed of clothing. (princess appears on the stage , the black clothing runs and encloses ) she is in rags, the complexion is wan and sallow , turn one's head and look around fre

白雪公主与七个小矮人 Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs 英文短剧本 旁白：Once upon a time, there was a queen. She had a pretty daughter named Snow White. Soon after the child was born, the queen died. The queen married another queen. The stepmother was very jealous. She dressed Snow White in rags and forced her to do th

（At Salesman’s home） N: In a dark dirty house, there lived a small, dirty salesman。 He always makes unhealthy candies and sells them to the students。     He has a lot of money now。 But how does he make the candies? Oh, xu …… He is coming! S: Hello, do you know me? No? Oh, let me tell you 。    I’m the famous candy salesman at the school gate。 My candies are very popular,(展示)，I don’t know why。   The foolish students always come here。   I’ll be a boss soon! Candy, money, candy, money…… Oops! It’s time to make candies now。  (看表) First, put the flour on the table。 Then, water, sugar, flour。  (边说边做) Now press, press…… Oh, my dirty hands! Never mind! Just do it!(满不在意的神情) Press, press…… Oh, my god!Never mind! Just do it! Press, press, the children will not know it , it’s OK,hehehe…… Now let me cut it into pieces!。    。

篡改历史

你们几个人？总得描述下要求吧。。