Fingersmith

因为人无法从爱中获取利益，却能从轻蔑中榨出财富，像从抹布中扭绞出脏水，这就是事实。

我提供给你的建议很棒也很特别，这不是通常那种妻子隶属于丈夫的婚姻关系——合法的掠夺与窃取却称之为婚姻生活的那种束缚。

这就是最终让我伤害她的爱——不是轻蔑，也没有恶意，只有爱。

“我恨你。” “那就是恨你自己。你和我很像，比你认知中还像，我们的本质有缺陷，你以为这个世界应该爱我们吗？这个世界轻蔑我们，这可真感谢老天啊！因为人无法从爱中获取利益，却能从轻蔑中榨出财富，像从抹布中扭绞出脏水，这就是事实。你和我很像，我再说一次，你恨我，就是恨你自己。” 他的手温暖了我的脸。 “我的确恨我自己。”我闭上双眼。

She was like milk—too pale, too pure, too simple. She was made to be spoiled.

我想：你来到荆棘山庄，就是要吞噬淹没我。

一方面是恐惧，一方面是骄傲，但骄傲终会战胜恐惧。

如果你对人生的期待，就只是端餐盘和烤酥皮点心，那么这些事情的确就是生死攸关。

只是，什么？我能怎么说？只是，她在我慌乱迷茫时，把我的头轻轻抱在她胸前？还是她曾经有一次在我寒冷时呵暖我的脚？还是她曾戴着一只银顶针为我磨平一颗出头牙？还是她给我端上了清汤——而不是鸡蛋——微笑着看我喝下？还是她瞳仁上有一点深褐色的斑？还是，她以为我纯良……

“那就是苏珊・程德，”有人会小声说，“她妈就是杀人犯，被吊死的。她也够勇敢的吧？” 我喜欢听他们这么说，谁不喜欢呢？但事实是——现在我也不在乎谁知道了——我一点儿也不勇敢。要做到勇敢面对这种事，首先你得为它难过。我怎么会为一个素不相识的人难过？

“唉，我也不想这么说，苏，但是，真得去死的话，死得干净痛快最好了，比别的死法强。”

她就像漂荡在激流中的一根树枝，她就像牛奶一一太白，太纯，太天真，生来就是被玷污的命。

我知道怎么接吻。丹蒂教过我一次。但是，吻莫德和吻丹蒂完全不一样。这就像亲吻黑暗。黑暗仿佛有了生命，形状，味道，黑暗变得暖滑。

我告诉自己一切都变了，我曾以为自己已是行尸走肉。现在，她触发了我的生命，我的热切。她使我肉身回归，她开启了我。

我感觉到一股强大而激烈的欲望，我害怕这欲望将永远不会得到满足，我觉得它不断地上升，直至将我逼疯，或让我死去。

我告诉自己，一切都变了。我曾以为自己已是行尸走肉。现在，她触发了我的生命、我的热切，她是我的肉身回归，她开启了我。所有的事都变了。

一切都变了。一切又一点都没有改变。她已经放归我的情欲。

这就是生活，生活困难而悲戚。

for the work tells of all the means a woman many employ to pleasure and another,when in want of a man

Richard watches, his hand across his mouth, a look of amusement dawning on his face....in spite of Richard's dark, tormenting gaze

I'm ashamed to think that what I have supposed the secret book of my heart may be stamped, after all, with no more miserable matter than this---have its place in my uncle's collection.

That they mean to make you a common-place girl. That that was like taking a jewel, and hiding it in dust. That dust falls away...

His name was Richard Rivers, or Dick Rivers, or sometimes Richard Wells. We called him by another name, however; and it was that name I said now, when Mrs Sucksby saw me staring and called, 'Who is it, then?' 'It's Gentleman,' I said.

I was also thought young-looking;but as to that—well,I should have liked the people who thought it to have studied Maud Lily as she stood before me now.For if I was young,then she was an infant,she was a chick,she was a pigeon that knew nothing.

It was odd to see her stepping out of that gloomy place,like a pearl coming out of an oyster. It was odder to watch her going back in,and see the oyster shell open,then shut at her back.

But then,I grew still.I was thinking of Maud,starting up with the knife.I was thinking of Maud,letting me hate her.I was thinking of Maud,making me think she`d hurt me,to save me knowing who had hurt me most...

因为在布莱尔庄园，实在没啥其他可看的。可看的只有这些：烟囱里升起的烟，天上飘过的云。每天我们会去河边散步，看水的涨落。

丹蒂一直没敢拿出来用，怕她爸爸看见了就知道她出去浪了。

这抹微笑就像涂料，一整天都停留在她的唇上。

她没有作答，只是闭上双眼发颤，并触碰着手掌，那是他曾吻过的部位。 现在我才发现，她是在摩擦它。她并不珍惜那个吻，他的嘴唇留下一阵灼热、一股刺痛和一块碎片，她是在试着将这段记忆抹去。 她一点都不爱他，她怕他。